Ever wonder what would happen if the acclaimed director of lower-budget, grounded-in-reality drama — say Chloé Zhao of “Nomadland” — were given the cash to make a splashy entry in the Marvel Cinematic Universe?
Wonder no more, as Zhao — months after her 2020 film was awarded the Academy Award for best picture and she the Oscar for best director — sees the theatrical release of her new MCU movie, “Eternals.”
Perhaps not surprisingly, “Eternals” is lovely and artful in a way most previous MCU affairs are not.
For that, she is to be commended.
Unfortunately, it’s also pretty flat — “Eternals” is a slow-paced affair that runs too long and never quite delivers heart-stopping moments.
Plus, it can be at least a little confusing in stretches. It’s chock full of super-powered beings, and if you are able to grasp exactly what each of them can do and how he or she is using that ability at all times, a tip of the cap to you.
Having already given us big-screen versions of instantly recognizable heroes such as Captain America and Iron Man, the MCU is trafficking in some lesser-knowns in its Phase Four. Hence, we get the Eternals, an ageless group of heroes from beyond the stars sent to earth thousands of years to keep tabs on humans and protect them from one specific enemy: monsters known as Deviants.
Upon learning that his girlfriend, Sersi (Gemma Chan) is, in fact, one of these beings — after an attack by a Deviant that brings her Eternal ex, Ikaris (Richard Maddon), to the rescue — the amiable Dane Whitman (Kit Hanington) asks a reasonable question: Hey, why didn’t you guys help out with the Thanos thing? Or how about all the other terrible events that have happened on the planet the last few millennia? Her answer is their assignment is strictly Deviant duty.
That is something the script — credited to Zhao and a few other folks — does well: addressing those elephants in the room. Another example: After we’ve seen the handsome, dark-haired Ikaris soar through the air and shoot lasers from his eyes, a boy refers to him as Superman. The hero, in turn, points out that he is cape-less.
Ah, yes, good point.
The otherwise uninspired script isn’t so successful in smoothly giving us all the background we need to know to understand what is happening. There are a few mind-numbing information dumps — starting with on-screen text at the movie’s beginning — and you have to work a bit to absorb it all.
However, as “Eternals” jumps from place to place and back and forth in time — from 5000 BC Mesopotamia to present-day South Dakota and myriad spots in between — you’ll get at least the broad strokes. Along with fending off the Deviants, the Eternals face a dramatic choice: either fulfill the mission given to them by giant otherworldly being Arishem (voiced by David Kaye) or try to save humanity from a pending universe-shaping event. Expect some disagreements in the ranks.
Other members of the team include the leader, Ajak (Salma Hayek); engaging Bollywood star Kingo (Kumail Nanjiani); fight-thirsty warrior Thena (Angelina Jolie); mind controller Druig (Barry Keoghan of “The Killing of the Sacred Dear”); and Sprite (Lia McHugh, “The Lodge”), a powerful being who, despite being 7,000 years old, is frustratingly stuck in the body of 12-year-old girl.
Given that the team members have known one another for so long, it’s understandable that there are romantic crushes and general dislikes among them. In fact, they’re not so unlike us — save for the agelessness and superpowers.
In fact, you also have to appreciate the relatable qualities of two of the team members. Makkari, who possesses super speed, is the MCU’s first deaf character — and is portrayed by deaf actress Lauren Ridloff of “The Walking Dead” and outstanding 2000 film “Sound of Metal.” Meanwhile, kindhearted inventor Phastos (Brian Tyree Henry of “Atlanta” and “Widows”) is married to another man and is raising a son with him.
It’s hard to say much more about the plot of “Eternals” without potentially giving away one of its twists. Still, those turns are not too tough to spot coming down the road.
Let’s instead spend a moment on its appealing but strangely composed cast.
The two biggest names are Hayek (“Like a Boss,” “The Hitman’s Wife’s Bodyguard”) and Jolie (“Those Who Wish Me Dead,” “Maleficent”), but they are relegated to supporting duty.
The true lead is Chan, who’s appeared in “Crazy Rich Asians” and portrayed a different character in MCU entry “Captain Marvel”. She’s engaging enough as Sersi, but the character isn’t anything all that interesting.
(Speaking of Sersi, it’s pronounced the same as the name of “Game of Thrones” character Cersei, and it’s all together distracting to have two “GoT” alums — Harrington and Maddon — portraying characters who have feelings for her and repeatedly speak her name.)
Also know that while Maddon (“Rocketman,” “The Bodyguard”) has a very key role, Harington (“Gunpowder”) is a background player. (Tip: Stay all the way through the credits for a hint at a potentially bigger MCU role for Mr. Whitman in the future.)
The standout in the cast is the comedically gifted Nanjiani (“Silicon Valley,” “The Big Sick”). However, while he gets some laughs, his sequences are not all they could have been in Zhao’s hands.
The director, who also helmed the independent films “The Rider” and “Songs My Brothers Taught Me,” also seems ill-equipped for the film’s obligatory action sequences. They tend to be both underwhelming and disorienting, thanks in part to the ever-moving camera by cinematographer Ben Davis (Marvel Studios’ “Captain Marvel,” “Doctor Strange”).
Again, though, much of the film is striking, so Davis and others such as production designer Eve Stewart (“The Danish Girl,” “Les Misérables”) deserve credit for that.
The first post-credits sequence teases further adventures for the Eternals, but we’ll see how strongly the movie-going public responds to this first go-round. It may not be a love for the ages.
“Eternals” is rated PG-13 for fantasy violence and action, some language and brief sexuality. Runtime: 2 hours, 37 minutes.
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